Weird

Posted by JC Published in Daily Stuff

It’s weird how my anxiety has me so hyped up. Trying not to smother red but trying to think about life without that force is not sustainable.

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Jun

For those that might need a hint.

Posted by JC Published in Daily Stuff

Perfect Memorials Custom Engraved Ebony Glaze Cremation Urn https://a.co/d/4pmdPyR

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Jun

Urges to give up.

Posted by JC Published in Daily Stuff

Trying so hard to give red room. She needs it and is on her own emotional ride. How can I want her so bad but fear she won’t want me and this extra time is a waste of time? She won’t even meet me for lunch or answer my phone calls. Work is crushing my […]

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Jun

Irrelevant

Posted by JC Published in Daily Stuff

I don’t matter is all I hear or see.

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Jun

Status

Posted by JC Published in Daily Stuff

Not doing well. Thinking about July 17th moms bday and 6 year anniversary of her leaving by ambulance. Good time to leave for good.

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Jun

Worse

Posted by JC Published in Daily Stuff

Not a word from her, I miss her. Maybe I’ll miss her forever. She posted meme to fb so she’s not dead like I should be.

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Jun

Maybe

Posted by JC Published in Daily Stuff

I feel like it’s one sided. She won’t talk to me on the phone and ignores my messages . I’m alone again.

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May

Red is back

Posted by JC Published in Daily Stuff

So red is back. What started as a typo and misdirected message has turned my suicide plans on end. Why? Because she’s separated from her husband and not going back. There’s lots of complications and tons of what it’s. I’m a fool if I let her get away again as the conversations have been pretty […]

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Mar

Hurt

Posted by JC Published in Daily Stuff

Today someone said something towards me that has made me question if fighting is worth it. This person is my direct supervisor and whom I’ll have to trust. I’m not sure I can do that.

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Dec