Was told today I don’t matter. I once thought I didn’t and I reached a point where I thought I just might. Well fuck me. Apparently I’m not worth even a return txt. I get it when my mom doesn’t txt me back. But for another that’s a different story. Do I matter?

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I’m without love.

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I’ve started giving away computers, monitors family airlumes and stopped paying bills. Man what a weight off my shoulders. I want to goto Utah to hug someone and kiss their forehead and maybe a trip to 1 other place to thank them for being there for me.

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Fair is over and have no desire for Christmas or holidays. I really have noone to talk to anymore. Even when I call friends I get sent to voicemail. I just wait to die.

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Did I just pass it?

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The hour glass is slowly emptied

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This person has a letter in my safe for when I kill myself.

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I sorts tried but couldn’t get it done. Anyone who contacts help lines, copes, etc will be serving me a death warrant. Don’t do it.

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It’s been 8 years since I’ve been intimate with anyone. It’s been 5 years since I kissed my mom goodbye as she started to code. It’s been 4 years since I’ve gotten a hug from Cassie, Leah or anyone really except Patrick. Aside from my moms goodbye kiss I’ve not had a real kiss in […]

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