Oldies Skate Songs…

continue reading "10/13/2008 Remembering All Night Roller skates – My jam list when I night dj’d"

Today i slept untill about noon when I decided to finally quit dreaming about river and streams and goto the bathroom. I hate it when you have a dream about peeing and wake up thinking O SHIT did I just have a “depends moment”..

Chasing Tornadoes Is All I Have

I chase tornadoes. That’s what I do. I’ve tried to have a normal life—wife, kids—but it wasn’t for me.

Huddling in a basement listening to an emergency radio frequency, hoarding flashlight bulbs, fearing for the safety of loved ones while the whirling world outside passes me by—that’s all I’ll ever love.

The only time I ever truly feel at home is in a van filled with meteorological equipment barreling toward a funnel cloud at 90 miles per hour, with the wind in my hair, the roar of nature’s wrath in my ears, and a passion for taking precise measurements of windspeed and barometric pressure in my heart.

That’s who I am.

But now that the tornado season is over for another year, I’m left feeling… nothing. An empty shell. Just a hollow emotional blank space where the deadliest localized weather systems on Earth used to be.

Sometimes, it feels like the reassuring sound of prefab Midwestern housing developments being ripped from their foundations and hurtled half a mile through the air will never come again.

I sit here, looking at the doppler radar screen, and what do I see? Nothing. Not a blip. I can hope and pray all I want, but nothing’s going to change the awful truth: those destructive columns of air and dust aren’t coming back until March.

I take solace in wonderful dreams, dreams in which house after house, silo after silo is reduced to kindling in a blissful, whirling blur every time I close my eyes.

I don’t blame Judy for taking off with that real-estate agent while I was cruising the Great Planes for the umpteenth day in a row. There are only so many times you can tell the kids that daddy’s not coming home tonight because he’s somewhere outside of Tulsa hot on the tail of an F4 with a mile-wide base.

They’re better off without me, anyway. I was fooling myself and them by thinking I could change. Even when I was there, I really wasn’t, my mind always wandering to some back-country dirt road littered with downed power lines and destroyed farm-equipment.

Besides, the only time that house ever felt like a home to me was after Judy and the boys were long gone and a huge cyclone blew through and turned it into matchsticks. Luckily, I was already living out of the van, and I caught the whole thing on tape. I guess it was a sign. I chased after that storm and I never looked back.

It just seems so cruel. What kind of a God, I ask, could allow such placid, safe atmospheric conditions to prevail, for so long, year after year?

I do my best to keep busy. I polish the shatterproof glass of the monitors. I carefully fold and refold each precious nylon windsock. But by the end of the day, I’m passed out blind drunk on the couch, watching my old videotapes—many of which I’ve seen a hundred times before.

Somewhere, there’s a low-pressure system just waiting build up to a twister so powerful that the closer I get to it the more it feels like it’s sucking the air right out of my lungs.

Only then can I breathe again.

This week sucked.. So many hurt only 35 dead.. long week

Today started with me going to church without my ADDHD meds. Glad Cassie was a team player.  Church has changed since they went to 3 services every Sunday. 9,10:15,11:30 by doing this has cut 2 p&w songs and sermons seemed rushed and pastor Mike doesn’t set out of the box with a story that has nothing to do on topic; however this is what made Destiny so welcoming. We have now cycled through every service and none is longer or shorter than the other. I am really starting to look at what the church is offering fits my needs anymore?  The biggest question is “Where to look and what to look for” and will/would 1% be up for a change? She isn’t the reason I goto church but she’s a big part of why I goto “this” church.

Granted I have had a major mental load and working 13hr days are nice on paydays but hell on personal life. I talked to someone that suggested I reactivate my match.com profile and try that. My answer is I don’t like mind games. Trust me I know them all, because I’ve payed attention to my past relationships and my friends. The rule I used to have was never initiate a relationship after Nov 1 – Jan 1 then Feb 1 – June 1. Sweeps and severe weather kill dating.

I have been trying to rebuild my friends group but aside from my core friends that will be there for me but I never have anything to offer them. I only have a few to choose from. At work there are some beautiful and talented ladies but each has their downsides.

Well I found a song today that is a little of the current version of me and former version.  I posted the lyrics on FB but I’m afraid now that I have added church and not-friends from work I need to not rattle anyone and have them thinking I’m about to jump off a building.  Even though I have access to the roof of the tallest building in 3 state area.

Ok this has been my combination April – May post.

I worked my ass off and still am. However GW, Q, Root, Darin Hall, David Moten, Richard Spears, CD, Brad, Stoney, Parker, Sue, Steve Did also.. Most of us worked our 8+ and drove 12 blocks and worked past dark.. Some days I did 2a-10p however not many.

Now heres what my ID swipes say..

Nov 1-30 2012

Dec 1-31 2012

Jan 1-31 2013

Feb 1-28 2013

Mar 1-31 2013

Apr 1 – 6 2013

I’ve been at work, We have the new building and when we planned it we ordered the newist toys… Guess what happens? Shit gets newer before you install it. So now I’m having to play catchup and do severe weather. Sucks.. I was out sick 3 days this week.. Amazing I had over 4 hours of conf calls.

It’s tornado season..  really?

bah..

I have endless meetings over next few weeks and printed somewhere is a new training system schedule.

-eof