Life sucks pretty hard right now. I get good new followed by only bad newz. Someone today told me not to give up and I mean a lot to so many. If I mean a lot to people why don’t they take their time to say so. Maybe Chester had this all figured out. You give so hard and so much to make others happy but when you get this far nothing really matters.

Some plans weren’t meant to be. I realized that Atomic Blonde was playing at the $5 movies and early enough my past co-workers could see it before they crawled into their coffins. However as rushed things go most were at a station event, Ohio, and even had dogs coming for dinner. So the best ideas are as normal with me a failure. I’m beginning to think and antifungal needs to be applied. Anyone know a of a good exterminator or where I can buy the stuff to do it myself?

To be 100% CLEAR. This message doesn’t target a single individual. People ask me to do things and I get my hopes up and try to work them into my plans. Sometimes these are big plans that require hotel and travel or lunch meetings. I have been guilty the last 2 weeks due to a medical issue of clearing my calendar. To be fair I only had to cancel on 1 person with a few hours notice. I understand everyone has lives and children etc.. However if you chose to get my hopes up then crush them I will be hurt. I am officially giving up on trying to make plans with people. I’m tired of getting my hopes up to be canceled or crushed. I’m tired of being alone, but that seems to be how it’s ment. There are rare exceptions to this rule and those are whom I have lunch with at various times of the year. These are worked out in advance and I’ve never had these individuals cancel. I can think of 3 people and 2 are major PR representatives. I’m just sick to death of getting my hopes up and crushed. I posted a link this week where you can leave an anonymous comment to me. I have no clue who the person that said I was a fungus to KOTV and their glad I’m gone. They went as far to ask why I haven’t committed sucicide yet? Because I don’t know ow who posted it I have to take it at face value. I haven’t because I thought I had a support group of friends.

Wow, the last 3 weeks without sleep medication has been a living hell and it was finally ended last Friday. I had planned on a trip but Patrick asked me to house sit in Owasso but little did I know when I went to bed Saturday night I would be awoken to a nasty storms and 6 missed calls from very important people. Spent most of Sunday working with the tornado cleanup and search and rescue teams. I’m beat and worn out. Today I did a few things and came home to sleep. Put up a note on FB that I’ll be deactivating it soon for a few weeks. Of course I got the onslaught of fokes that don’t have this page bookmarked. This up coming week I’m hoping to go out to the canyon and relax with no internet and limited distractions. Trying to find a friend to go but that is fleeting. I need to file my will with my attorney this week since I made some changes regards to my stocks and holding of Spotify shares. I would hate them go into the wind if something were to happen to me. Will be posting more here as I get ready to dump facebook. Maybe I’ll get lucky and have a drunk barrel thru my bedroom.

Heard back from the vet and the place they use for cremation is having a remodel. So they are returning her to me and I figure a bag of Kingsford and a gallon of lighter fluid at Mohawk Park Sunday afternoon?

Private post: this morning Domino past on. (I’m sure you’re aware) I decided to take a heavy dose of a little bit of everything and get sleep. Had a rough sleep till 3P when I returned to bed to a very vivid dream of mom holding Domino in her lap outside stroking her fur. Mind you mom has never had Domino outside much less Domino want to be outside. This puts my heart at rest and a brief dream is also only the 2nd time my mother has appeared in a dream that wasn’t a flash back. I just thought I’d share this with my friends and family. Regardless of faith it seems mom and Domino are together in some sense. Going to continue to limit activities but I can’t let this cripple me. I’m so sick of constantly being in grief. 72 hours was a good policy when it was random but over 5 deaths so close together I can’t let sorrow bind me. Please continue any prayers for me if you desire. Please hope a job opening appears that I’m qualified for and thank you for being my friends.