Well I’ve made it to 35  36 years of age without to much drama. I have no kids to spoil or an wife to take all my fun money.

Thanks for being around I can bet 2012 will be a wacky year from day #1..

Stay Safe Friends.. and remember if you see a password for a post feel free to ask for it. It’s just there =)

I sit here after a week & weekend of racking my brains over layouts, graphs, blue prints and revisions. I find it funny that I’d normally be a mess but it’s been fun. Tomorrow I leave the office at 9 and am off until Jan 3rd. I really don’t have any major plans in stone. I have tickets to see the Thunder Christmas day but already getting shit from mom about her wanting to spend christmas out of town with family and I wouldn’t mind it. However I have someone willing to pay $100 above the $79 face value so maybe I’ll buy some extra presents for family and go south. When I return I have lots to do on a new project that could turn out to be a bonus. When I get back to work I’ll be past my planning stage which is weird the concept of in 2 years I’ll be working in a area I had a hand in. So when the desk is not tall enough I can kick my own ass. I’ll return to winter and this year we should have a snow or 2 and I’ve got lots of toys to play with and egger to play with them.

Still keeping around with Cassie on our standing weekend date to church, lunch and movie so I’ve been doing well in the personal areas still talking to the other girl and we’ve pretty much decided were friends and thats it now. I’ve met another person but I’m taking this 1 with caution because of the method or whom I met her thru.  I’ve been doing my normal braces checkups and I’ve been going in for emergency replacement of my clear rubber band. it gets green in like 1 day I have read that the Ph in some people cause it. My dentist agrees when I saw him after shearing off a cusp on 1 of my teeth. Blood pressure has gone up a bit as I’ve gained 10pds back I think they go hand in hand. I’m really happy with the new Doc we have set a medication regimen that allows me to sleep at night and take a nap in the daytime. I’m now only taking my ADDHD, Sleep and a med thats like benadryl that lets me take naps when I need. I’m not on anything else.

I guess I figured I’d update and make things current as I pointed someone I respect to catch up on my blog and see the impact that one can cause.  Oh yea if you happen to hear a rumor about me moving to Madison WI you didn’t hear it from me yet.

Cheers!

Wow we start up November and on Friday night about 2:30a we had a nice little earthquake. Now I have to say that it was my 1st earthquake and I was laying awake in bed and heard it before I felt it. It sounded like thunder just growing louder. The tremor lasted for about 10 seconds and was gone. I stayed awake and helped the Facebook, Twitter, Website side of things go as it seemed everyone was awake and doing their tasks w/o being told because it worked out well. I slept all of Saturday just waking to check games and the news. I was awoken again at 10:32pm as sofar the Oklahomas largest earthquake struck at an impressive 5.2 on the scale. I looked and knowing we had a fully staffed station because of football games running late that I didn’t need to do anything but tweet with other media fokes. I was back asleep my 11:15. I woke up this morning and got ready for church enjoying that extra hour I got.

News On 6 at 10  <– To see how Tara handled the shaking.

Went to church w/Cassie and had a good service then we proceeded to the theater to watch a movie of her picking “The Rum Diarys” I wasn’t a fan and thought it was pointless but Cass seemed to have enjoyed it a bit more than I did. I choose Olive Garden for lunch because I’ve been craving it for weeks and my powerchain (clear rubber band on braces) is neon yellow from food stains I wasn’t worried about the pasta sauce. We had a good lunch then we departed ways till next weekend. She did get a new puppy so I might have a drive up to her place soon to see the pup while he’s still cute 😉

I have a busy week ahead with sweeps draining every work braincell and I have my New Doc apt on Monday then Tuesday I’m getting my hair cut and Thursday I have Orthodontist appt. So really a somewhat week of things to do. I’m going to try to fit in some movies in the mix because AMC has a few indi films showing that I’d otherwise not see.

Mom had a scan on her neck to check the clogging on her right artery and we are waiting to hear back if the scan was good or bad. Mom thinks it will be bad because she has been having lower limb pain and bloodflow issues so thats not good. I’m hoping they continue to control this with medications.

I have a chipped tooth thats right next to a bracket on my braces so I can’t get it patched while in braces so they damn well better hurry and come off. I’ve gotten to where I don’t care what color combinations I use in the morning so they never match it seems.

Ok enough rambling. I’ve not had any change on the girl options they are all still unavailable to me.

So today was a stress filled day. I need to vent so I found a live stream of Kate Voegele to jam to while typing =).

This week is kind of flying by because I’ve spent the last 2 days prepping for todays upgrades. It’s funny they say allow “4” hours between Monday an Thursday 8-4. Well were on the air 5a-10a then 12p-1p 4p-7p 9p-11p so it sucks. I have to do all the preps all morning while doing breaking news and such. I had them pre-tape some stuff so I had 9a-12p to do a install. This was a fairly hard install for 4 systems and 10 programs in a serial order. When it came back up I found lots of stuff that wasn’t compatible anymore. I spent an hour with Tom both of us going thru all the shows trying to re-build or correct what we found.

Last weekend I snagged a football game on Friday night and it was fun running the lines shooting. Saturday was OU/TX then FSU/LSU so it was a busy TV day then I slept =). Sunday I got up about 7 ran by station on way to church to meet up w/Cassie. Church was fun as they were playing golf with marshmellows and they were flying RIGHT over our section. After church 10:30ish we got some lunch and got to talking about iphones and apple products so we took a trek over to the mall to visit the Apple Store (RIP Steve) and see if she wants to go with a 4S or just snag a 4 off craigslist this weekend. We wondered around the mall for a few before we split up and she went to her game and I headed to the fair.. The Tulsa State Fair is normally my big hang out for 2 weeks. This year I only went once and was there a total of 32 min;) I got what I needed and got the hell out of there. Headed to the station to do some updates and get my week lined out. It’s funny as I left storms were fireing up just to the north and the tops were looking sweet in the sun.. I went home by 2 and watched some football.

I surfed across a page this morning that was eye opening and am glad to know. (don’t ask)

1st Hospital bill arrived today and it was from my doctor and get this.. It’s cheaper to see him in the hospital than out patient =). When I get the med bills I’m going to be sure to bitch about how much they charged me for a f’n tylenol.

Thanks for reading and sticking around.

Like millions of people I’ve been iSad. I came into work this morning to learn that one of my favorite CEO and great visionary Steve Jobs died. Now as most know this was coming and by him stepping down and not showing up to the reveal that he must have been ill so.. I was iSad.

For full disclosure I own tons of apple products including stock in the company which I’m glad only dropped $.88 in morbid trading.

Sitting here at home after a fun day of work waiting for the Apple press conference on the new iPhone.

Yesterday I had a Dr. appointment with the new Dr. and we talked briefly about the after effects of detox like how my acne has been on a roll, allergys and acid reflux issue. It’s funny all the issues I had BEFORE I started this trek years ago are back minus the acne thats  new.  The fair is in town and normally I’m there like every day but this year I’ve yet to make an appearance. I haven’t been doing much but staying home reading and eating my weight in grilled cheese ;). Anyway back to doctor.. we talked about my mood and how its not really been there. I’ve been very blah. not really depressed but again not happy or sad. When I left the hospital I left on a mood med part of the mix because I was very emotional. He thinks that we should back all the way off of that and see if that clears up the acne and maybe mood (go figure). So over the next 2 weeks I’m going to drop my dosage to nothing and see if that helps. Doc was very firm that he wants to try this with nothing but the basics. So I’m not adding anything this go around. It will be interesting to see how my mood changes without a “stabilizer” in place.

Work has been good I’ve got a big new software upgrade coming in the next weeks that will create extra work and time to devote. We announced that we are back on track to our new building site and should be in it in 2 years. I drove by on my way home and they were off-loading heavy equipment so I guess they were’nt kidding.

Only had 1 other thing happen of mention but they didn’t give me a reason so no reason to give them the time.

I re-enabled the mobile version so you can read on your phone if you don’t want the URL on your PC or whatever. There is a link at the VERY VERY VERY bottom of the page to switch back and forth in case you are mistakenly taken to the mobile site.

Wow what a week. I’ve had a few highs like hanging out with a newish friend at the park and just sitting around talking to low like sleeping thru Fri-Sat welll 11am Fri-2am Sunday morning. Needless to say I only woke up to change snack, brush & put in new elastics then back to sleep.  I did get a call Friday letting me know my car will be back Monday or Tuesday.

Work has been getting better and I’m back in a pattern I was in over 2 years ago and is a much more productive way of doing things. This poses a small problem of I don’t have enough projects to fill my time. I’ve got a few ideas and when we hit the top of the month I’m sure I’ll get a nice few. This last week we had 2 good breaking news situations which means standing up and managing about 10 points of communications and being the hub. It sucked when we had 3 wrecks all in the range of 4 square miles and 1 of them included a school bus. Now what sucked with so many fire crews and PD to figure out wich of the 4 had the 34 students on board with 4 complaining of neck and back problems. Parents showing up on the highway parking in lanes of traffic was a big mess. I think this week I went dry before 7 3 times. dry = Drank 52oz already.

Detox has still shown some things like I don’t have the magic jumping leg as much but still have memory issues and I need to call and make my appt. with the Memory doctor. I’ve been cheating my meds a bit duiring the day so I could sleep daytime also. I’ve not been messing with my night time drugs. Face is still a battlefield and I’m fighting that fight every day. I want to get a med for my face but thats another pill and med and thats NOT what we want now is it?.. I find it strange that most people have not cared enough to ask about the changes or are keeping to them selves.

I saw Dolphins Tale with Cass on Sunday and MoneyBall on Friday solo. Both of these movies were good and worth the $. Did church before going to the movie Sunday w/Cass then to Cheders for lunch.

Things I still need to work on are regulating daytime activities and the “want” to do them. I need to figure out why I haven’t been wanting to do things since my changeover. I talk to someone thats actively in “Depression therapy classes”  and she says I sound depressed. I talk to my best friend and she says since I’m always hyper maybe I’m just bored. I don’t know which it is but I will need to make the change soon to add that 4th element.

I’ve about given up on any workable relationship in regards to romantic or best friend with the exception of Cass. She is what makes me know there are good people in this world. I wish I could make some BIG statment saying I AM REBUILDING but ummm not much to throw away other than 3 Females that have more issues than TV Guide in a year. I’m willing to take a few issues even just play with someone but to much is to much.

PS. I cut my thumb nail to short so every space is a OUCH. This was a painful blog.

Enjoy the rambleness.

In the past weeks I’ve gone from a ton of medications to a few. A few changes with attitude, energy, memory and a few other areas have been noticed.

I noticed today the Adderall I take for ADDHD needs to be up’d and a stronger dose because I was all over the place today at church. I noticed with the rundown for the service and worship slides I did much better than weeks before I couldn’t memorize the slides as I saw them rather I had to read as I sang. Today I was able to glance at them and be set.

Attitude.. Boy this one has changed and I honestly can’t tell you how. I know I’m expressing myself better from feedback from coworkers that are noticing changes but have yet to pinpoint them. I’m more into the team ordeal and not just off in my corner for all 5 hours just a voice in the headseats to everyone. I know I’m not in the taking shit mood from people and I think that has suprised more than 1 person that I’m not allowing myself as a bridge.

Energy.. I used to have a pretty good level of power and energy but since my return it has dwindled to nothing. This morning I could have cared less if I got out of bed except my body was awake and hard to goto sleep when my body says “Hi were’e awake for now”. I really feel blah as to the point I have no real desire to do anything or make any effort to do anything. Before I would goto movies and such after work now I look into a open void when I used to see choices. This is where the possible 4th pill might come from. I’m not thinking about the depression aspect of anything until I’m positive that I’ve compleated detox. I’m not there yet. I do need to do like I did today and FORCE myself to do tasks, events and see friends old and new.

Memory I touched on already I think 😉  ahhahah I have a referral to a specialist and I honestly think since detox that my memory issues short term have been delt with but I still have issues.

I just think I need motivation to do more things and maybe gain a 2nd job to take some of the time away from me. I dunno a lot of things are stiring about and I need to open them up and see just WTF is going on =).

Relationships. I have 5 possibles that I’d look at. A few from the past that I know I’d never have a shot at (1) and others that I honestly don’t know I’d want to have an ongoing relationship with but I’m sure I could spur a good friendship out of just about any of them.

Meds the topic of this blog.. We have been sticking to the 3 added and 1 core med and not making any changed yet all around me my mind and body is changing as if it were on meditations. I blame this on detox.  The sleep med I’ve been experimenting with being able to wake up from a sleep and able to re-enter sleep without much trouble. I’ve yet to experiment with drowsiness when awake and such to be alert. I also want to back to dose down a hair and see how that fairs. I’ve doubled up on the mood stablizer anytime I feel I’ll be needing to make emotional choices and that seems to have helped. I relize I’m on it because taking someone off a mood med when they have been on one for YEARS is rash so they left me on one but from the research this is about as mild (allowed used in 10yrlds) of a stimulant you can get and granted I’m not even on a high dose. just to keep my heart off my sleeve. Currently heart status is now in a nice safe with 1 inch walls and I’m thickening them as you read this post.

Hope this gives you a nice update on things. My conscience is really fucked up so don’t just think what I might do is right =)

Wow… I went to bed about 11am on Friday and slept until about 5 or so took my sleep meds then crashed till maybe 4:45a Saturday morning. I was supposta (my new word) run in the Race For The Cure but it had rained all night and for some reason I was in a really shitty mood. Well I’ve been in that mood for 2 weeks but it was bad this Sat morn. I got up and drove downtown to hang out etc then run. Well  That sucked. I got home and went back to bed. I awoke about 8PM to my phone someone asking about a system at work. I noticed that there was a NICE line of storms making their way into the metro and straight at the football statuum FULL of fans for a 9:10 kickoff. I went back to sleep hearing “New message from “NWS” ” over and over but no phone ringing to answer to come in. I roll over still very much sleepy and scan twitter and see everyone screaming tornado warning etc. JESUS ppl there are no rotating storms nor do they have hail in them just lightning and TONS of it. I get a TXT telling me sirens are going off here and there. See TXT I ignore durring storms because I get all the bullshit the NWS spews out about any storm within 100 miles of us. GOD FORBID a penny size hailstone go un-noticed in Woods county I went back to bed.

After hours of quick dreams and mini snacks all mashed together (damn eating while I sleep) I wake on Sunday to a groggy and I don’t give a damn attitude. I ran to QT to get some donught holes and a long john. I get back to get in the shower and shave off 4 days worth of growth and DAMN that hurt. I reviled a new mine field of acme and areas that didn’t like my razor. I get dressed and goto church. Church was standard and nothing really to proclaim except I got my 4sq mayorship back.. Whoohooo. I got out of church and headed to the movie theater to watch Contagion on the big screen. The movie was ok and given yes this very well could happen it was not worth a review. I headed to work after movie and did standard reboots and resets of PC’s thats required. I’m glad I had someone to help while I was out. I came home to 2 BIG grilled cheese and watched some soggy NASCAR, a bit of the Lions KC game then TiVo for Big Brother #13 Season Final.

I’ve got a ethical situation brewing that I’m dealing with. Something that before with all the medicines Id NEVER think of doing but once I’ve been released and now have amazingly a ton of memory back I didn’t have maybe I’m remembering what it was like to take risks and chances. Anyway I can’t go into detail on here because well thats the nature of the beast. If you are close to me you will know the situation and if I want to insert myself into it and take control. a.k.a takeover.

Its a cloudy sunday evening and I think I’m going to go pick up my book series “Thirst” I’m reading since I’m into book two its not easy to quit as fast.